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Robin Hood returned to the heart of Sherwood Forest after a long week of relieving indignant nobles of their extra coin. When he got back to the camp of the Merry Men, what he really wanted was to have a wash and a bite to eat. He didn't expect a challenge to his authority.

But it seemed that while he had been away, the sentiment of the average Merry Man had turned against him. Some of the bandits had soured on him completely, and saw him as a nuisance, and possibly a threat. Others still supported him, but not as strongly as they previously had done – Robin Hood's leadership hadn't been exemplary of late, and certainly the pickings had been thin, thieving-wise.

"You're a terrible leader of brigands," one of his challengers said.

"You're leading this company in the exact wrong direction," said another.

"You may," said the third dangerously, "even be a traitor to our nation."

"Oh really," said Robin Hood coolly. "Supposing you tell me exactly what it is that you would do better, if you were in charge."

"All right; we will," replied Little Mitt, Friar Perry and Maid Michele.

"First of all," trumpeted Little Mitt, "we've got to do something about this business of stealing from the rich in order to give to the poor."

"Yes," added Friar Perry, whose tonsure was immaculately groomed. "I don't believe the Merry Men want to participate in such a scam."

"Redistributing wealth for the benefit of all of society isn't a scam," objected Robin Hood. "It's called 'righting a wrong'. It's kind of what we do."

"What we used to do, you mean," said Maid Michele primly. "We have different ideas for what the Merry Men really want to be about."

"Such as?" asked Robin Hood warily.

"Well," said Little Mitt, "we believe that it's unjust that the landed gentry and fat bishops of England should be forced to support this enterprise in toto."

"That's right," agreed Friar Perry. "We believe in shifting the revenue burden in the direction of those who reap the most benefits."

Robin Hood threw up his hands. "What the hell does all that mean?" he demanded.

"It means," said Maid Michele smoothly, "that we should be stealing from the poor to give to the poor."

Robin Hood's eyes crossed as he puzzled that one out. "Steal from the poor…." he said, struggling, "… in order to give it right back to them?"

"No!" said Maid Michele and Friar Perry simultaneously, their voices dripping with scorn.

"You really don't understand finances, do you?" said Little Mitt condescendingly. "No, we should steal from half the poor and give to the other half. We'll toggle between the two halves on a bi-weekly basis to make sure nobody feels left out."

"I see," said Robin Hood evenly. "And then what do we do with the rich?"

"Leave them alone!" insisted Friar Perry.

"They're the fief creators, don't you know," said Maid Michele.

"Yes," said Little Mitt firmly. "If we steal from the rich, they'll have absolutely no incentive to grow even wealthier on the backs of the serfs!"

"No," said Robin Hood, confused. "They'll have more incentive because they won't have as much money."

"Which they won't then be able to plow back into further subjugation of the commoners!" said Friar Perry triumphantly.

"Look," said Little Mitt in a kinder tone, "I just don't think you're seeing this from King John's viewpoint."

"That's the first thing you've said that I've agreed with," said Robin Hood.

"King John," continued Little Mitt breezily, "is just like a commoner."

"No he's not," replied Robin Hood. "I think he's pretty much the opposite of a commoner."

"King John has rights and privileges, just like the rest of us. He pays taxes, just like the rest of us," pointed out Little Mitt.

"I would agree with that, except for all of the words you just said," said Robin Hood snidely.

Friar Perry cleared his throat. "We just don't understand," said the holy man, "why you're so eager to put that money in the hands of the Merry Men for redistribution. The Merry Men are not good at doing things with money. In fact, we're downright bad with it. If I were made leader, I would act to reduce the size of this band of thieves, on the grounds that we should be doing a whole lot less!" The other two clapped and nodded their heads vigorously.

"What are you talking about?!" Robin Hood asked shrilly. "Look around you! People are starving! Taxes are back-breaking! Misrule is rampant! Never have there been more problems that needed solving than now! If the Merry Men aren't going to do that work, who will?"

"We'll put it in the hands of the nobles," answered Maid Michele.

"Or the church," added Friar Perry, giving a thumbs up to the sky. A huge fist reached down from the clouds, and Friar Perry bumped knuckles with it.

"The nobles and the church," explained Robin Hood wearily, "are why we're in this mess to begin with. We need the Merry Men precisely because we have no profit motive, so we can be counted on not to use the money we gather for personal gain. Somebody's got to keep these dishonest fat cats straight, at least until King Richard can return from the Crusades and depose this false and despicable brother of his!"

"There you go talking about the 'Crusades' again," said Maid Michele. "Why do you persist in perpetuating this myth?"

"What myth?" asked Robin Hood, his eyes narrowing.

"That there's some war of liberation of the Holy Lands going on thousands of miles from here!" laughed Maid Michele. "Honestly, do we have any evidence at all that these 'Crusades' are anything more than an unproven theory?"

"The constant flow of people and money out of the country?" suggested Robin Hood. "Or, perhaps, the fact that every learned person within five hundred leagues all agrees that the Crusades are real?"

"Pshaw, learned men," scoffed Friar Perry. "Myself, I don't trust them. I think they're all in cahoots to put one over on the rest of us. And even if men and materiel are leaving England, who is to say that the cause of this is man-made?"

"In fact," confided Little Mitt, "I've never been convinced that this King Richard really exists either."

"You people are loons," Robin Hood said flatly. "That's all I can say. You're out of your gourds. Either that or you have King John so deep in your pockets that you might as well shut up and let him do all the talking for you. You're trying to shake up the Merry Men, scare them, make them doubt what's right and what's wrong in an increasingly complicated world. You're hoping that if you can make the Merry Men uncertain enough, they'll support the person who promises to make all the decisions for them. Well, it won't work. I've led these yeomen for years now, and I have faith in them. They'll make the right choice. I may not be perfect, but at least I don't treat them like they're dumb or crazy. Nobody wants to be treated like they're dumb or crazy."

And Robin Hood looked at his Merry Men for support. But if he expected to see everybody agreeing with him, he was sorely disappointed, because his was a band divided. In that sense, at least, Little Mitt, Friar Perry and Maid Michele had already succeeded.

But would they be victorious in their efforts to oust Robin Hood from his role as the leader of the Merry Men? That is a tale for another day, because the ending has not yet been written. But it's not hard to guess how it turns out. Do you think that most people believe in the Merry Men, and think that what they do has meaning and value? Then that's one ending.

But are you insane? Or, perhaps, stupid?

Then that's another.