Job Safety

Job safety. How many times do I have to say it? Job safety job safety job safety! Times a hunnerd, squared! So important, but can I get that through the knob-knobs of my crews? Never in a million.

I mean, there we are, like only an hour inna the day, barely starting work on converting floor nine of the old giant tower on Main and Canal inna upscale condos, nice nice nice, and Skidder gets hurt. Booksy comes and gets me; yo Pippo, he sez, Skidder's got his tail docked. ZWOT? sez I, and we go and see. And there's Skidder, curled up onna floor, and most of his tail's been loppered. Beebee and Tucker were carrying the toolbox and Beebee dropped his end, POW, right on Skidder's tail. Snip, gone! I mean I felt sorry for the guy, sure-sure, but it's his own fault. We post rules on every job site: tie up your tail under your mesh-apron; tuck your ears inside your hardhat; wear goggles and muzzle-guard if you're gonna do hot work so you don't burn a snoot. Everybody gotta do it.

So important in any jobsite, but specially so in a giant tower. Huge old places, left behind wenna giants zapped each other. Sometimes the towers are crumbly bad, and usually we just tear those down. But those giants sure could build it solid, and sometimes those old towers are like mountains. The glass is all busted out, and the insideys have the mold and badness, but the bones of the buildings are stout stout stout. Perfect for rats to build in, even if them giants were, like, four times taller than us.

Of course, first you gotta get the giants out. That's where my crew comes in: Rooby and Pippo's Giant Remediation Service. Everybody thinks it's easy to get giants out of a tower but they wrong-wrong. Giants used to be just big, but then they hadda war and used some kinda weapon. It turn the giants into big black statues – heavy, indestructimous, not going nowheres.

Any old rat can move in a set up shop inna old building. It takes a special kinda rat to move the old owners out first.

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