Reindeer Games (8 and last)
Dec. 11th, 2011 12:28 amThere was a payphone on the edge of the park. I called up the Abominable Snowman. He picked up on the third ring. "Christmastown Police," he rumbled.
"I know you don't want me calling you," I said, "but I had no choice. No way you're dialing me with your bum hand."
There was a hint of growl in his voice. "Sam the Snowman, as soon as I catch you, I am going to hang you upside-down in an ice cave."
"Tricky, as I have no feet," I replied. "Listen, don't bother with the phone trace. I'm going to tell you exactly where I'm going to be. You can just come on by and scoop me up."
"Sure I can," said the Abominable Snowman. "Pull the other one."
"I'm serious," I said. "I'm going to go and extract a confession from the guy who killed Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
"That guy's in jail, Sam," said the cop. "You can talk to him about it when you're roommates."
"The killer's not in jail," I said. "His name is Saint Nicholas, aka Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus. In ten minutes, at his castle, he's going to confess to murdering Rudolf." I let that hang in the air a second. "You might not want to miss it," I added.
The Abominable Snowman cleared his throat uncertainly. "What?" he said.
I hung up. The conversation had reached its zenith anyway.
I glided towards the castle. Santa, you were beloved the world over, a champion of children, a force for good.
How could you?
( Read more... )
"I know you don't want me calling you," I said, "but I had no choice. No way you're dialing me with your bum hand."
There was a hint of growl in his voice. "Sam the Snowman, as soon as I catch you, I am going to hang you upside-down in an ice cave."
"Tricky, as I have no feet," I replied. "Listen, don't bother with the phone trace. I'm going to tell you exactly where I'm going to be. You can just come on by and scoop me up."
"Sure I can," said the Abominable Snowman. "Pull the other one."
"I'm serious," I said. "I'm going to go and extract a confession from the guy who killed Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
"That guy's in jail, Sam," said the cop. "You can talk to him about it when you're roommates."
"The killer's not in jail," I said. "His name is Saint Nicholas, aka Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus. In ten minutes, at his castle, he's going to confess to murdering Rudolf." I let that hang in the air a second. "You might not want to miss it," I added.
The Abominable Snowman cleared his throat uncertainly. "What?" he said.
I hung up. The conversation had reached its zenith anyway.
I glided towards the castle. Santa, you were beloved the world over, a champion of children, a force for good.
How could you?
( Read more... )