The Colonel's Patter-Song

I was the very model of a modern Arab autocrat,
I lynched the literati and I probed the proletariat,
I promulgated policies that upset others naughtily
From IRA to Egypt and from Libya to Lockerbie!
I was a tad acquainted with all matters diplomatical,
With military action both combined and unilateral
I rooted out resistance and I terrorized the populace
And bandied mass destruction in a talk with Stephanopolus!
[piano, business]
I liked to play the Bedouin and dress as per the tribal norm
Except for television when I wore a Colonel's uniform
In short I was the paragon from Faisal to Jehoshaphat
I was the very model of a modern Arab autocrat.
I knew our mythic history from Karkar to the Caliphates
I had a reputation as the slyest kook since Kathy Bates
I dreamed to make of Africa one union international
And often made the papers with my interviews irrational!
My reputation's stern but I did seed my rule with lenience
And sometimes showed foes mercy when it was no inconvenience
I aggrandized, destabilized, monopolized and bartered too
And liberated Libya of billions in oil revenue!
[piano, business]
I learned from Machiavelli all my power eruditionings
I was a peerless study in Man's limitless ambitionings
In short I was the paragon from Faisal to Jehoshaphat
I was the very model of a modern Arab autocrat.
I ruled until the seasons turned from winter months to Arab spring
And found myself surrounded by a grass-roots homegrown uprising
Imperials and airstrikes lent the conflict some asymmetry
I had to move from Misratah and take a trip from Tripoli!
Upon pursuit the rebels found some shallow holes with bodies strewed
With dead whose names and families could not be set with Sirte-tude
Those are the only gravesites that the news has come to Hah-vard
AND THERE MAY BE MANY OTHERS BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN DISCAH-VARD!
[piano, business]
I died the way I made my way: with fear and sprayed with pellet
History will know my name and yet they're likely to misspell it
In short I was the paragon from Faisal to Jehoshaphat
I was the very model of a modern Arab autocrat.