Sea Urchins
May. 15th, 2011 07:44 pmOo-er; terrible troubles, lovelies, that's what we gots. It's never a joy and a lark hereabouts on the mudside. See, you gots the "have's", and you gots the "hasn'ts". If you happens to be stuck on Terra Firma, see, now you knows where you stands. You is a "hasn't". Cause if you is a "have", you don't care to be stuck, see? You straps on a rocket, right, and it pulls you UP UP ANNAWAY, up inna sky, off to a better place. You go on to a place where there's food to eat, and less of the bad iodine in the water, and it's all shiny times and gravy in your soup. And then, when you gots to take a shit, it falls down, down, DOWN the gravity well, and it hits the "hasn'ts" onna head. Which is hard luck and all, just part o'the cost of doin' business, see.
Well, boy, now I'm gonna explain it to you thusly. I'm gonna explain it right and proper so's you don't go saying, OO, EE, me Poppy nicks stuff, he's a STINKIN THIEF. That would hurt me pride, it would, and I'd have to beat you stoutly. I want you to understand whats I'm saying, which is this: sometimes, when the "have's" take a shit, and that shit hits the "hasn'ts" onna head, then sometimes the "have's" come calling and say, OI, we wants our shit back. And for the poor bloke who has just had his head shat upon, it is perfectly kosher and apropos for that devil to say NO, this shit hit me nogs and I shall be keeping it, thankewverymuch.
Now, it's really just like that, boy, only we has to change a few words here and there to make it complete and proper. For "have's", I want you to swap in "rich bastards who is rocketing away from the Earth like rats leaving the sinking ship". Also, for "take a shit", I want to substitute "drop bits of rocketry what could possibly be reused for other launches".
The "hasn'ts" is still us, just to keep it simple-like.
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Well, boy, now I'm gonna explain it to you thusly. I'm gonna explain it right and proper so's you don't go saying, OO, EE, me Poppy nicks stuff, he's a STINKIN THIEF. That would hurt me pride, it would, and I'd have to beat you stoutly. I want you to understand whats I'm saying, which is this: sometimes, when the "have's" take a shit, and that shit hits the "hasn'ts" onna head, then sometimes the "have's" come calling and say, OI, we wants our shit back. And for the poor bloke who has just had his head shat upon, it is perfectly kosher and apropos for that devil to say NO, this shit hit me nogs and I shall be keeping it, thankewverymuch.
Now, it's really just like that, boy, only we has to change a few words here and there to make it complete and proper. For "have's", I want you to swap in "rich bastards who is rocketing away from the Earth like rats leaving the sinking ship". Also, for "take a shit", I want to substitute "drop bits of rocketry what could possibly be reused for other launches".
The "hasn'ts" is still us, just to keep it simple-like.
( Read more... )