Ocean is Eleven
Jun. 25th, 2007 01:03 pm"So let me get this straight," said Wilford Wiggins, standing up from the upside-down bucket he had been sitting on in the Ocean family's garage. Ten pairs of eyes locked onto him, and the shy, freckled third grader blushed. He swallowed heavily.
Danny Ocean smiled. Although he was only eleven years old, he was widely regarded as the best thief and confidence man in the Greater Idaville area. Only his parents called him Danny, or Daniel if he was in trouble; everybody else called him Encyclopedia because his head seemed to contain as many facts as an encyclopedia.
"Go on, Wilford," encouraged Encyclopedia.
"Well," stuttered Wilford, "as I understand it, we're supposed to just walk into the clubhouse of the Tigers...."
"The meanest gang in Idaville," inserted Charlie Stewart.
"....past the huge guard dog they have penned up..."
"They say it's named 'Brutus'," moaned Mitch Waller.
"....disable the giant robot that Bugs Meany says is in there...."
"I heard its laser go off when I went past on my paper route!" exclaimed Red Pufflinger.
"....and somehow find the money that was stolen from the Idaville Elementary School club fund?"
"Don't forget the footlocker with the combination lock on it," added Sally Kimball, smirking. Sally was the prettiest girl in the fifth grade, and she was also Encyclopedia's junior partner and occasional bodyguard.
"That's right, I forgot to mention that," said Encyclopedia to Sally, smirking as well from his perch atop the garage gas can.
"We can't go up against Bugs Meany!" wailed Denny Hopkins. "With a usual job, it's simple; you steal from a guy, he punches you in the arm, done! But not with Bugs -- with him it's personal! The last time somebody got crosswise with Bugs, Bugs beat him up, and then he beat up his sister, and then he burned down his...."
"....lemonade stand. Yeah, we know," concluded Sally.
"Nobody takes things out of the Tigers' clubhouse!" complained Philip Sweet. "Only three people have even tried. Louis Crabtree didn't even get to the door before he was caught and sat on. Lisa Periwinkle reached the door before they dunked her pigtails in ink. And Donny Duhon, the most successful Tiger-stealer ever, actually tasted oxygen and got out into the clubhouse yard before he was tackled and given Indian Sunburns like you wouldn't believe!" The assembled rubbed their forearms sympathetically.
Wilford Wiggins cleared his throat. "Well....supposing we get past all those things, and we *do* get into the clubhouse, and we find the money. We're then supposed to just -- walk out of there with it?" All eyes turned to Encyclopedia, who smiled.
"Yes, Wilford," he replied calmly. "We are."
"Oh," said Wilford quietly, and quickly sat down.
HOW WILL ENCYCLOPEDIA DO THE JOB?
Turn to page 98!
Danny Ocean smiled. Although he was only eleven years old, he was widely regarded as the best thief and confidence man in the Greater Idaville area. Only his parents called him Danny, or Daniel if he was in trouble; everybody else called him Encyclopedia because his head seemed to contain as many facts as an encyclopedia.
"Go on, Wilford," encouraged Encyclopedia.
"Well," stuttered Wilford, "as I understand it, we're supposed to just walk into the clubhouse of the Tigers...."
"The meanest gang in Idaville," inserted Charlie Stewart.
"....past the huge guard dog they have penned up..."
"They say it's named 'Brutus'," moaned Mitch Waller.
"....disable the giant robot that Bugs Meany says is in there...."
"I heard its laser go off when I went past on my paper route!" exclaimed Red Pufflinger.
"....and somehow find the money that was stolen from the Idaville Elementary School club fund?"
"Don't forget the footlocker with the combination lock on it," added Sally Kimball, smirking. Sally was the prettiest girl in the fifth grade, and she was also Encyclopedia's junior partner and occasional bodyguard.
"That's right, I forgot to mention that," said Encyclopedia to Sally, smirking as well from his perch atop the garage gas can.
"We can't go up against Bugs Meany!" wailed Denny Hopkins. "With a usual job, it's simple; you steal from a guy, he punches you in the arm, done! But not with Bugs -- with him it's personal! The last time somebody got crosswise with Bugs, Bugs beat him up, and then he beat up his sister, and then he burned down his...."
"....lemonade stand. Yeah, we know," concluded Sally.
"Nobody takes things out of the Tigers' clubhouse!" complained Philip Sweet. "Only three people have even tried. Louis Crabtree didn't even get to the door before he was caught and sat on. Lisa Periwinkle reached the door before they dunked her pigtails in ink. And Donny Duhon, the most successful Tiger-stealer ever, actually tasted oxygen and got out into the clubhouse yard before he was tackled and given Indian Sunburns like you wouldn't believe!" The assembled rubbed their forearms sympathetically.
Wilford Wiggins cleared his throat. "Well....supposing we get past all those things, and we *do* get into the clubhouse, and we find the money. We're then supposed to just -- walk out of there with it?" All eyes turned to Encyclopedia, who smiled.
"Yes, Wilford," he replied calmly. "We are."
"Oh," said Wilford quietly, and quickly sat down.
HOW WILL ENCYCLOPEDIA DO THE JOB?
Turn to page 98!