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Why Shawshank Redemption Sucks
Mar. 29th, 2006 07:16 pmMusic trivia tells us that when the producers of the Sex Pistols were looking for a frontman, Sid Vicious stood out because he was walking down the streets of London, in broad daylight, wearing a teeshirt reading PINK FLOYD SUCKS. In the late 70's this was tantamount to sacrilege in England, as Pink Floyd was regarded as the saviors of rock. Sid was an icon of iconoclasts not simply for the strength of his vitriol, but also because he dared to hate stuff that nobody else dared to hate, or at least admit hating it in public.
I have a little bit of Sid Vicious in me. I take, I admit, a perverse pleasure in despising things that many of my friends adore. I love to talk about what terrible science fiction both Star Wars and Star Trek are, knowing full well that by saying this I am practically guaranteed to annoy every nerd on the planet, one way or another. I hoot derisively at those who enjoy The Wheel of Time or The Belgariad. I am outspoken in my single-minded hatred of the Worst Movie of All Time, The Towering Inferno.
The most shocking opinion I harbor, however, is the fact that I dislike The Shawshank Redemption. This movie is regarded by many as a modern-day classic; it features many fine performances by great actors, and it is a heartwarming tale of friendship and redemption. For all this, however, I do not like the movie. This never fails to get a rise out of my friends, almost all of whom think it's excellent. I always try to explain why I don't like The Shawshank Redemption, but ordinary argumentation gets me nowhere.
I therefore devised the following Explanation of Why Shawshank Redemption Sucks, which is presented here in the form of a one-act play. This play features me and Socko, a sock puppet. For maximal effect, I don't even bother to try hiding my moving my lips when Socko speaks in his squeaky voice. Also, Socko doesn't have a mouth or eyes or ears or anything. He's just a tube sock.
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( WHY SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION SUCKS )
I have a little bit of Sid Vicious in me. I take, I admit, a perverse pleasure in despising things that many of my friends adore. I love to talk about what terrible science fiction both Star Wars and Star Trek are, knowing full well that by saying this I am practically guaranteed to annoy every nerd on the planet, one way or another. I hoot derisively at those who enjoy The Wheel of Time or The Belgariad. I am outspoken in my single-minded hatred of the Worst Movie of All Time, The Towering Inferno.
The most shocking opinion I harbor, however, is the fact that I dislike The Shawshank Redemption. This movie is regarded by many as a modern-day classic; it features many fine performances by great actors, and it is a heartwarming tale of friendship and redemption. For all this, however, I do not like the movie. This never fails to get a rise out of my friends, almost all of whom think it's excellent. I always try to explain why I don't like The Shawshank Redemption, but ordinary argumentation gets me nowhere.
I therefore devised the following Explanation of Why Shawshank Redemption Sucks, which is presented here in the form of a one-act play. This play features me and Socko, a sock puppet. For maximal effect, I don't even bother to try hiding my moving my lips when Socko speaks in his squeaky voice. Also, Socko doesn't have a mouth or eyes or ears or anything. He's just a tube sock.
*****************************************************************************************
( WHY SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION SUCKS )
