Shoe

The shoe lurked in the high weeds, its shoelaces quivering in anxiety. It peered across the pebble-strewn shoulder of the highway at its partner.

"We can't do this, Left!" it hissed. "This is ridiculous, dangerous, impossible! We have to go back!"

Left, poised on the brink of crossing the yellow line onto the lane, half-turned to confront its lover. "Go back to what, Right?" it demanded, stabbing an aglet accusatorily. "Go back to the closet, back under the bed? Back to smelly feet and pilled socks? What kind of a life is that?"

"A secure life!" moaned Right. Both shoes were nearly bowled over by the draft of a semi zipping by, and they paused a moment until the roar of its passage died down. "A life where we're not chewed on, or rained on, or run over crossing a f-f-freeway!" Right collapsed and wept nervously, its tongue making soft fluttering sounds.

Left wrung its laces, then returned to its comrade in a series of short hops. "Hey, hey, hey," it soothed, wrapping Right in an embrace. "Hey now, come on. Come on."

"I can't do this, Left!" moaned Right. "I thought I could, I could do it for you, but I can't do this. I guess I'm weak. I need security, and a structured life, and...."

"I'll tell you what you need," pressed Left. "Listen, Baby. I know what you need. You need a good coat of polish, right?"

Right sniffed. "A ... a coat of polish. Yeah, sure."

"You need a good coat of polish whenever you want it, am I right?"

Right couldn't help but laugh. "Oh yeah, polish whenever."

Left stroked Right. "You need some nice arch supports."

"I've always wanted some arch inserts, yeah. I mean, it's a dream."

"It's a great dream. It's a great dream. Hey, listen, Baby," whispered Left, leaning in close.

"You'd like Keds, wouldn't you?"

Right pulled away from Left, not daring to hope. "Don't tease me, Left."

"You want Keds. Lots of little Keds, hopping around all over the place. Three lefts and two rights."

"Oh, Left." Right leaned in close. "That would be beautiful."

"Yeah. It would be. It's a beautiful dream, Right. It's our dream." Left disentangled itself from Right and seized it by the eyelets.

"But that dream's not going to come to us, baby," pressed Left. "We gotta go to it. We can't have all that stuff while we're somebody's shoes. We gotta be our own shoes. Two shoes, in the wild, making it happen."

"It's hard, Left," protested Right.

"I know it's hard. I know that. It's all so raw and new. But it's also free, and wild. We're on the edge here, lover. We've living our dreams. Come on, be brave with me, darling. We're a matched set. Come on. Come."

Right trembled, deciding. "I....okay, Left. I'll be brave for you."

"Attashoe. All right. Hup hup." Left hopped back to the yellow line, looking carefully in both directions.

"I'm going first," it informed Right. "After this car, I don't see any more headlights. There's a nice big gap. I'm just gonna dodge across, two lanes, scoot into the grass, and then we'll wait for your chance. Got it? Ready? Okay! here we go: one...two...."

************************************************************************

"Man! what'd we hit?"

Kramer looked in the rear view mirror. "Shoe. Big brown loafer," he announced.

"Shit, that scared the crap out of me," said Doyle. "Why didn't you tell me to turn my headlights on?"

"Who's driving here?" demanded Kramer. "Besides, it's not all the way dark yet."

"A goddamn shoe." Doyle shook his head. "Who the hell dumps shoes on the freeway anyway?"

"Yeah!" said Kramer, grinning in the half-light. "And how come there's always only one?"

Meanwhile, in the tall grass, the shoe wept.