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REUTERS - Washington
Late Monday, leaders of both the Senate and the House of Representatives of the United States of America announced that they would no longer be concealing their true mission of annoying the crap out of Americans.
"It's time we ended this charade," stated House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas). "Most Americans no longer believe that we play any role in governing them, and most of the rest don't care. We might as well come clean and admit why we're really here. We're here to make you crazy." He then sank his teeth into a large ball of tinfoil and chewed with agonizing slowness.
"Oobi!" added Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tennessee), a huge shit-eating grin pasted all over his obnoxious puss. "Oobi! Oobi! Oobi! Oobi!"
In recent weeks, the Senate and House have passed a number of annoying pieces of legislation, but to date these efforts have been performed under the auspicies of doing the nation's business. Starting tomorrow, galling things such as interference in the Schiavo case will no longer carry the cachet of federal lawmaking, and will instead be openly and shamelessly performed as acts of scofflawyery, vandalism and sabotage.
"I think tomorrow I'll prank-call the offices of UNICEF," mused Senator Zell Miller (D-Georgia). "And then maybe I'll throw my own doody into the Eternal Flame at Arlington. It doesn't really matter. Now that I can stop pretending to care what my constituency thinks of me, the sky's the limit! HAW!!"
"Oobi!" added Frist for like the millionth fucking time.
Late Monday, leaders of both the Senate and the House of Representatives of the United States of America announced that they would no longer be concealing their true mission of annoying the crap out of Americans.
"It's time we ended this charade," stated House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas). "Most Americans no longer believe that we play any role in governing them, and most of the rest don't care. We might as well come clean and admit why we're really here. We're here to make you crazy." He then sank his teeth into a large ball of tinfoil and chewed with agonizing slowness.
"Oobi!" added Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tennessee), a huge shit-eating grin pasted all over his obnoxious puss. "Oobi! Oobi! Oobi! Oobi!"
In recent weeks, the Senate and House have passed a number of annoying pieces of legislation, but to date these efforts have been performed under the auspicies of doing the nation's business. Starting tomorrow, galling things such as interference in the Schiavo case will no longer carry the cachet of federal lawmaking, and will instead be openly and shamelessly performed as acts of scofflawyery, vandalism and sabotage.
"I think tomorrow I'll prank-call the offices of UNICEF," mused Senator Zell Miller (D-Georgia). "And then maybe I'll throw my own doody into the Eternal Flame at Arlington. It doesn't really matter. Now that I can stop pretending to care what my constituency thinks of me, the sky's the limit! HAW!!"
"Oobi!" added Frist for like the millionth fucking time.
