Nov. 28th, 2011


Nov. 28th, 2011 11:18 pm
You're that nation. You're the cosmopolitan, easy-breezy police state around town. You've got a suave culture, a healthy GDP, and a coolness factor that has foreign nationals contemplating dual citizenship.

But it's not enough. You want more. You don't just want respect. You need more than allegiance. You crave obedience. How do you get it? What do you do??

My friend, mindless conformity doesn't just grow on trees – but it does come in a can! You can douse yourself and your subjects with that all-over body-politic spray that will make you smell like the chic old-school authoritarian states of yore. You want to break out COMPLY.

COMPLY is the obedience musk used by all the Old Guard. Whether it's a faint whiff on the winds of change, or the protracted dousing of a recalcitrant nonconformist, COMPLY spices the air with a subtle olfactory message, and that message is: you are not safe. Stop what you're doing and seek shelter. Behave. Or else.

Picture the scene: those young people are at it again. They're making loud noises. They're ignoring the rules. They're occupying something or another. They might not be bathing, and that's important. Now they're sitting on the ground. Sitting on the ground! Are you going to take kids sitting on the ground lying down? NO you are NOT. You're going to spray them with COMPLY.

Oh, the tang of it! As that white-hot gout of liquefied machismo hits those hippies in the face, you'll *feel* wave after wave of fascist appeal radiate outwards, stimulating the senses and stifling dialogue. Suddenly you won't just smell like a man – you'll smell like THE Man, speaking softly into your citizens' ears all while carrying a big stick. A nation that uses COMPLY is irresistible. You'll bring 'em to their knees.

Use it. Use COMPLY all the time. Use it when they're going out on the town. Use it when they get out of the shower. Use it when they're already in bed. They'll respond. They have to. Soon, when they smell COMPLY they'll think of you, and vice versa. When they beg for it, you'll know you've won.

When it's time to get serious – seriously cool – you know what to reach for. COMPLY!



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