Aug. 20th, 2011

This week we received the baffling news that Michele Bachmann wants us to ‘Beware the Soviet Union’, a rival state that apparently is on the rise. This may be difficult to comprehend for those of us who were alive and conscious in 1991. Indeed, it seems that a great many statements made by Michele Bachmann have the effect of generating bewilderment among a certain class of the population, a class that for brevity’s sake I shall label ‘people who know things’.

I have a new theory to help explain some of Michele Bachmann’s statements in a context that will clear up the confusion. This theory is sure to be controversial to that segment of America that is suspicious of all things theoretical, such as the theory of human-generated global warming, or equally spurious and unprovable theorems such as the Theory of Universal Gravitation or, my personal favorite, the Theory of Supply-Side Economics. However, it is my hope that the explanatory power of my theory will be strong enough to cast aside all doubts, and shortly even Ms. Bachmann herself will recognize its incredible predictive strength.

In brief, my theory is this: Michele Bachmann is traveling backwards through time.

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