Apr. 24th, 2011



You hold in your manipulative members a labor of love, this humble tome for which I have shed so much vascular fluid to create. I can only imagine the anticipation that races through your mind or minds as you consider the endless possibilities this culinary guidebook presents, but I wonder if you really comprehend its potential. Is this book great because it was written by Ral Thombas, master Kanamit chef and owner of over forty restaurants in the Crab Nebula? Perhaps. It is great because Ral Thombas stars in his own premium cable cooking show, "That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Hungry", which is seen in almost eighty thousand star systems? Yes, yes – but this misses the point.

This book is truly great because it explains, debunks and teaches the pinnacle, as of this writing, of the culinary art of cooking higher primates. Within these pages will the neophyte cooking aspirant find the golden key which will unlock their progress towards making the ultimate meal of hominids – a progress that I trust will provide you, Reader, with as much joy as it instills paternal pride in me.

But this book is not about me, Ral Thombas, celebrity chef and towering nine-foot wizard of the kitchen. This book is about you! Yes, you, nameless Reader, and your journey to achievement in the preparation of humans for the consumption of family and friends. So let us waste no more time with niceties, and forge onward to discover the secrets that only a true Master Chef can reveal!

Without further ado, let us explore how: TO SERVE MAN!

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