Apr. 17th, 2011

"Let me rest a second," gasped the young donkey. It was a pitiful sight. A kind of nest of cloth had been made on top of it, and Jesus Christ sat cross-legged on top of that. The donkey wobbled on spindly legs, and its tongue hung out of its mouth in the heat of the day. The trail was dusty and the climb up the mountain had been arduous, full of little treacherous rocks and olive tree roots to trip a tired mount.

Jesus peered down at the donkey. "Take all the time you need," he said. "It's a beautiful Sunday; the day of rest."

The donkey's eyes shot daggers at Jesus. "I know you DID NOT just say that," gasped the donkey, resuming its climb up the Mountain of Olives. "Day of rest my Mama, the ass."

"I was trying to lighten the mood," explained Jesus. "And anyway, it is a beautiful day. You and I should be enjoying the beauty in beautiful days. We only have the rest of our lives to enjoy such things."

"What's to enjoy?" the donkey wanted to know. "There I am, tied up with my Mama, eating some grass, when who shows up but a couple of your disciples? And they start untying me, and my Owner runs up and says HEY WHAT GIVES and they say WE'RE COMMANDEERING THIS DONKEY IN THE NAME OF THE LORD and my Owner is all like OH IN THAT CASE WHATEVS BRO." The donkey canted its head and gave Jesus the evil eye again. "And how come they didn't take Mama, who's big enough to handle this kind of business, instead of little old me?"

"Because I told them to take you," Jesus said sweetly. "Sorry, pal."

"'Sorry, pal,'" mimicked the donkey bitterly. "And then I see that I have to carry your FAT ASS all the way to Jerusalem, and what do your disciples say? they say OH THAT DONKEY IS SO BONY and then one says I KNOW LET'S MAKE IT ALL COMFY FOR JESUS so they all throw their cloaks on top of me, and then I have to carry that pile of garbage too."
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September 2012

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